A Lady and Lit

I like to write

On Divorce

Divorce Candy

Divorce Candy

Divorce is a motherfucker.

Anyone who tells you it is a walk in the park is straight up lying to your face.

Everyone wishes and hopes for an amicable one.

This is not how it usually happens.

For starters, almost no one gets married thinking they will divorce (unless they really don’t care for their partner, are a golddigger, or working on their 20th mail-order bride). Everyone hopes. Everyone has the hope that it will last forever and ever, Amen. But sadly, almost or half of marriages will end in a contract signed saying you are forever no more.

Another thing is that most divorces aren’t mutual. This is true. Generally, one person wants it and the other does not. There are a lot of variables involved here. For the one who wants it, they have generally accepted it and moved on already and the other one has to process the mess it leaves of their life being turned upside down. Both experience grief though, at different times.

To build a life with someone, a whole life, full of courting and kissing and dating and engagements and house-buying and vacations and day trips and lazy Sundays and vacations and holidays and Christmases and springs, winters, summers, autumns, and one day, have it all end, this life you built, is really  nothing short of a mindfuck.

But eventually, that old friend Time, is there to help and it will and does get better.

Imagine supergluing some arts and crafts to construction paper or an easel. You love this art project you made. You put a lot of time into it. You picked out the perfect parts, shades, colors. You made sure the glue was affixed to the appropriate place. You probably glued some of your hand or fingers to this paper and it hurt like a bitch and it sucked to get it off your fingers but in the end, art project done, you were so happy with your masterpiece.

And one day the superglue doesn’t hold. You are confused. Why isn’t this amazing superglue holding? Shit, it held your hand and fingers to the paper, so much so that you almost lost a finger trying to pry it apart. That’s a piece of you! And it’s falling apart and this masterpiece is quickly becoming a disasterpiece and isn’t moving you like how it was.

Divorce is kind of like that.

If you are lucky, you stay on good terms with the ex and cherish your memories. If you are not so lucky, you lose everything in the divorce, your hair, your sanity, your blankets and your house.

Don’t let anyone tell you it’s easy, though.

Divorce isn’t for the faint-hearted.

You survive, but there is less of you.

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This entry was posted on January 3, 2014 by and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .
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